


wake up

by BubblyWashingMachine



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: :(, Amnesia, Angst, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, I didn't want to put 'extreme violence', I don't think anyone swears??, It's a bit sad, M/M, Magic, Memory Loss, Pre-Canon, SnowBaz, baz is a sad lil bab, baz lies, but - Freeform, how did simon lose his memories?? shh no one knows, i am working on the next chapter I swear, i dunno tho, it started off as a oneshot, ok that's it, okay, there is some blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-04 23:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblyWashingMachine/pseuds/BubblyWashingMachine
Summary: It was supposed to be like any other fight.





	1. Going Down

**Author's Note:**

> How does this formatting work lol

It was supposed to be like any other fight.

Baz sighed as he watched Simon Snow battle another large creature. Specifically, it was a Minotaur, and it was very angry, but what difference did that make? It was a beast, and the Chosen One was going to slay it. The rest of the school were out on the football field, trying to get a glimpse of the action, but his nemesis hung back. He knew that seeming too eager would be confusing, and cause rumours. And besides, he didn't want to watch his roommate/arch enemy get all flustered and sweaty. No. Absolutely not. He especially didn't want to see a flash of midriff when the Chosen One lifted his sword high above his head… Nope.  
Biting his lip anxiously, Baz looked over to where the smoke and yelling was coming from. The crowd oohed and aahed when Simon, a ball of fury and willpower, dived in to get himself hurt again. Because that was all these fights were ever good for. Not that he... cared. He turned away.  
Cue beast. Simon fights. Simon gets hurt. Simon wins. Simon spends a couple of nights in the infirmary. Simon receives a lot of cards and flowers. Simon recovers. Simon returns. Baz is a jerk. Simon gets flustered. Things return to normal.  
At least, that's what is supposed to happen.  
Suddenly the crowd of people were yelling "Medic!" and screaming. Baz's head snapped up and his eyes widened.  
The beast roared in triumph, and Simon Snow lay lifeless on the ground a few metres from where Baz had been hanging back, after being swiped at and thrown halfway across the school. There were cuts across his face and neck, long strokes oozing blood down his shoulders. His clothes were tattered and burned, and Baz suppressed a cry when he saw the strange angle that Simon's leg was bent at. His sword was nowhere to be seen.  
Baz was beside him in an instant. Having no recollection of actually moving, he fell to his knees.  
"Snow, get up. You- you need to wake up and fight the Minotaur, you're the only one who can." He shook the blonde's shoulders violently.

"WAKE UP!" He screamed.

Simon was silent and still.

Baz knotted his hands into the Chosen One's hair and wailed, tears streaming down his usually cool and collected face. He started crying harder when he realised that even his enhanced hearing couldn't detect a heartbeat.  
His eyes and mouth twisted in on themselves because they couldn't believe what they were seeing, couldn't, wouldn't believe it because it wasn't happening. It wasn't happening.  
The most powerful mages set themselves the task of defeating the beast, now that their not-so-secret weapon was no longer an option. Baz wasn't paying attention, understandably, but soon the Minotaur was down.  
There were many students and teachers milling around where Simon lay cradled in the vampire's arms, mostly crying. They had run there straight from the field, after the beast was defeated. Or perhaps before that, for some people.  
Here's a visual; Students were clustered in sticky clumps around the garden, and the ones who weren't were drifting around by themselves. Some stood, some crouched, some had to be supported by friends. Most of them were shedding tears for their Hero, but of course there were the few who had secretly been jealous of Simon, or just hated him, and those people were hiding their inner glee. I knew he was weak. Some would think. I knew he was nothing.  
Agatha cried because everyone else was, the small and graceful kind that was controlled and didn't ruin mascara. Penny didn't cry. She stood very still and looked at Baz and Simon quietly. It almost seemed like she wasn't breathing at all. Baz cried like someone who has just found the person they have loved for seven years in secret, dead and is now holding them in their arms and sobbing uncontrollably because they never got a chance to let them know and instead spent all their time making their life as hard as possible.  
"Mr. Pitch, you need to move away - "  
Baz slowly raised his head to the medic who was trying to coax him away from Simon, his Simon, who was going to open his eyes any second now and tell Baz to shove off.  
His hands balled into fists around Simon's T-shirt and he snapped.

"Get away!" He snarled, fangs elongating, eyes darkening in fury. The medic stumbled back in shock.

"Nothing to see here!" Baz choked out.

Everyone watching with confusion turned away suddenly and moved like nothing was happening. They were still crying, but the spell caused them to overlook the mess in front of them.  
"Snow? S-simon? Y-you have to wake up, okay? I can't, I don't know how to, I, I need you. Bloody hell!" The vampire screamed.  
"No no no no no no," He was shaking with what, fear? Anger? "How could you do this? This wasn't meant to happen! How could you get yourself…"  
Baz froze. He couldn't say it.  
Burying his face in Simon's shoulder, the monster thought the following;  
I did this I did this what if I'd helped instead of hanging back I couldn't even do that for the boy I... The boy I... Love.  
"I love you. I love you. I love you I love you I love you," He whispered hoarsely into the still-silent boy's neck, his tears mingling with the blood that was now half-dry.  
"I love you."  
I love you. Possibly the three most powerful words in the world.  
There are many spells to bring someone from the brink of death (One of these is true love's kiss, and it is very commonly used in this kind of situation by amateurs), as well as healing spells which many argue are the same thing as resuscitation: the action or process of reviving someone from unconsciousness or apparent death.  
There are none, however, that can be used once the soul has left the body and said body is, by all means, dead.  
"I love you." It isn't a spell, but all spells are built on language, magic, and intent. And those three words certainly are very special. And what Baz lacked in magic and language, Merlin knows he made up for it with intent.  
"I love you."

And Simon Snow started breathing.


	2. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you preferred the story as a oneshot, feel free to not read this chapter and the ones that will follow. I just couldn't leave it alone! This will continue. Still kinda a short chapter though. That's just what I do, I guess

I swear, I will never speak to him again. I will leave him alone. I will move across the country and forget all about him if you just make him wake up.

This is what Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch was thinking as he sat beside Simon’s infirmary bed. He was bargaining with some higher being, although he wasn’t sure anymore who or what or why that may be. It was too hard to think about things like that, to focus on anything. Anything except the body in the bed in the middle of the room.  
He sat slumped over, in a cold metal chair, with his head in his hands. In the distance he could hear the stomping footsteps of excited students, the quiet chatting of teachers, the wail of some injured football player. But inside this ward, separated from the outside world with its own flimsy curtain, it was just him and Simon Snow. The other boy lay weak and small on a sad, lumpy mattress, hair carefully arranged out of his face. (That was Baz’s doing.) Around them, dying flowers were scattered over every surface available, great big bunches of them. The smell was intoxicating, and sickening to the vampire’s empty stomach. How long had it been since he’d eaten last? He wasn’t sure.

It was unusual to have the ward this quiet. The first few days after the incident, people flocked around the infirmary like they had something to prove. Teachers, students. Strangers from the Mage’s Men. The cleaners. Ebb, that crazy goat lady. The Mage himself once. That was awkward. They all wanted to see the sleeping hero, to see if his martyrdom would rub any goodness off on them.

Mostly it was Penelope Bunce who sat in this chair. She had watched the random people come and go, trailing their flowers and cards behind them. Once that had dried up and the excitement wore off, it was just her sitting here, and Agatha Wellbelove standing at the end of Simon’s bed sometimes, and Baz leaning against the wall in the corner.  
Bunce hadn’t ever asked him why he was there. Baz thought it was bloody obvious, now – but hey, maybe she just didn’t mind the company. They never really spoke, but she would read out loud sometimes, to herself or Simon it was kind of unclear.

Right then she was in class. Only a few days ago, she had started going to classes again, probably feeling guilty, as though she had a social obligation to catch up on the two (three?) weeks she’d wasted in this chair. Baz hadn’t bothered.

He had to be there when Simon woke up.

If Simon woke up.

When-

A strangled noise, an intake of breath.

Baz lurched out of the seat, feet slipping on the floor. His hair got in his face (as if he could’ve been bothered slicking it back – like it mattered) as he scrambled to Simon’s side. The boy looked up at him with wide blue eyes, his dry lips parted slightly. Baz fought the urge to touch them, make sure they were real, warm, living.

“Simon?” He breathed. 

“I – ah, I – who… who are you? Where am I?” Unused vocal chords cracking, grating.

“You’re, a-awake? I mean, uh, shit,” Baz grabbed the sides of his head. Should he call the nurse?

Simon reached out, touching him amazedly on the arm. Baz froze. Simon was looking at him in a way he’d never before. Without malice, or hatred, or disgust, because – because he obviously didn’t know who Baz was.

He looked so frail and broken in that hospital bed, a mere sliver of the boy he used to be. Baz felt more tears rising, and forced himself to swallow them down. He’d done enough crying for Simon Snow, that was for sure. And right now, that was the last thing either of them needed.

“You – you’re in the infirmary, at Watford. You had an accident, you’ve been in a kind of coma for a couple weeks; do you remember anything? Simon?”

The Chosen One scrunched up his nose. “Watford?”

He looked around, tried to sit up. Baz placed both hands on his chest and pushed him back down, and yes, enjoyed it a little too much given the circumstances. Simon gazed up at him with an innocent, questioning, heartbreakingly confused stare.

“What’s Watford? Simon – that’s me. But, what happened? Who – who are you?”

Baz gripped the edge of the bed. His head was spinning. Where was Bunce? Anyone? Anyone.

Simon was still staring at him, and looked as though he might cry. Or scream.

Baz couldn’t help himself. He just didn’t want Simon looking like that at him anymore, like some injured puppy. He wanted the old Simon back, not this beautiful fragile stranger, even if it meant they’d be enemies again. Simon needed to stop looking at him like that – like Baz was worth looking at – before he did something very wrong.

But it was too late. No-one was coming.

“Uh… Watford is a school. Your school. You got in a fight with a… an animal, and got hurt very badly. And, I’m Baz. I’m… I’m your boyfriend.”


	3. so he's awake and stuff now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically filler because I don't know what I'm doing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to clarify that I have zero idea about where this story is going or what is happening
> 
> also it's not really one of my life priorities right now so that's why it's short and boring and late
> 
> ok

“You don’t remember anything? Anything at all?”

Simon shook his head nervously. “No, it’s like – there’s nothing there.”

Bunce sat back, letting out a sigh. “Well, that’s interesting.”

“Believe me, we are doing everything we can to find a spell to restore Simon’s memories. In the meantime, it is advised he stays in the infirmary in the capable hands of our nursing staff. “

The Mage stood with his hands on his hips in the centre of the room, his moustache alert. Since Simon Snow’s great awakening, he’d been faithfully spreading the word, reassuring everyone that their greatest mage was still alive, and still a viable resource in their efforts against the Insidious Humdrum. He’d also had all the cards and flowers removed from the room, which was a relief.

He looked at each of them in turn. Basilton crossed his arms.

“I think it would be best for Simon’s recovery if he was left alone.” the Mage said pointedly.

Penelope Bunce sighed. Agatha Wellbelove nodded. Baz glared.

“No,” Simon’s hand flew out from under his protective pile of blankets and wrapped around Baz’s arm, “I want some company.”

Baz gritted his teeth, and tried not to let his cheeks colour. Wellbelove made a noise and left the room, tossing her hair behind her shoulder, and Penny looked over her cat-eyed glasses at Simon and smirked.

After Baz’s self-control slipped and he had lied to Simon about their relationship, Simon had accepted their romance as a fact and was doing his best to enforce it. He was finding it surprisingly easy, as far as Baz could tell.

Most of the time it was hand-holding, other times it was a gentle combing of the fingers through his hair. Basilton relished in those moments of weakness, because he knew they couldn’t last. When Simon’s memories returned, there would be hell to pay.

He’d told Bunce and Wellbelove that immediately after waking up, Simon had bonded to him like how baby ducks bond to the closest person to them when they hatch. Or something.  
More realistically, Baz was the Prince Charming to Simon’s Sleeping Beauty.

The Mage shuffled out of the room, only once casting one more slightly disapproving look Baz’s way. Bunce follows shortly after, still smirking. Baz didn’t like that on her. Hadn’t anyone ever told her it’s extremely unattractive?

Simon tugged on his hand.

“Tell me more about us. About you.”

Baz pulled up the chair close to Snow’s bedside. “What exactly do you want to know?”

Simon gazed up at him. “How did I ever land someone as beautiful as you?”

Swallow. Don’t blush. Don’t cry. Stop.

“I – err – we’re roommates. So. The Crucible put us together, and we spent seven years with me pining and you convinced you hated me. And I was pretending I hated you. But then, uh, we discovered we didn’t hate each other so much.”

“But – how could I hate you? Or think I hate you?” Simon’s brow furrowed, his nose crinkling.

“I was very mean to you. I pushed you down the stairs once.” Baz said carefully. “I’ve tried to kill you more than a few times, actually. I set a Chimera on you.”

“You pushed me down the stairs?”

“Well, really, we were fighting and I hit you so hard you slipped and fell down the stairway. But I told everyone that I pushed you.”

Simon snorted. Baz smiled.

And it felt so good. So good.

They stayed like that for the rest of the day, Baz slowly inching closer and closer to the bed, Simon casually holding his hand like it was normal, natural. They just talked, and laughed, something Baz hadn’t been sure he could even do anymore.

“Don’t go.” Simon mumbled quietly, tightening his hand around Baz’s when it was getting late.

Baz glanced at the nurse. She rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she sighed.

Simon squealed happily, his face lighting up, and painstakingly moved over on the bed until there was a Baz-sized space beside him.

“What – what are you doing?” Baz swallowed.

(But it was very obvious what he was doing.)

Simon dragged him over and tugged Basilton down next to him. “Sleep with me.”

Immediately his face froze, flushing bright red. “Ah, no, wait Baz I didn’t mean it like that – “

Baz let himself relax, laugh. In doing so, he saw Simon relax too, and they just stayed like that for a couple of seconds, in the embarrassed, awkward comfort of each other’s presence.

Baz begrudgingly climbed up onto the hospital bed, pulling the thin sheet over them. “Move over, Chosen One,” he muttered, and the freckled boy beside him smiled, moving closer, and shyly put his arm around Baz’s waist. He lay for a moment – now what? – and Simon carefully laid his head on Baz’s shoulder.

And that was the last thing either of them remembered before sleep took them both.


	4. Baz and Penny kind of bond?? but not really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAH I'm still here.  
> This chapter is one of those chapters where nothing really happens but there's some weird description of Penny's ring, so that's cool. It's short because... I have a life? So I wrote this mostly during English  
> But I hope y'all like this chapter anyways

“What did you do, and how did you do it.”

It wasn’t even a question. Baz watched Penny fold her arms and glare at him, the early morning breeze blowing his hair into his eyes. Recently, he’d stopped slicking it back, because Simon had mumbled something about it looking better down. And Baz was weak. So he’d started leaving it loose.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He held out his arms, feigning ignorance. She waved a hand, the ring on her finger glinting obnoxiously in the sunlight.

“Really? Because more suspicious minds than mine might think you and your family wiped Simon’s memories as a way to get him out of your little war, even the odds a little.” She squinted. Baz smiled dispassionately. “But luckily for you, I’m not that suspicious. I just think you didn’t have the guts to ask him out.”

Baz’s mouth opened. He took a step back. She continued. “You really are a plotter, aren’t you? I think Simon was right about you, this whole time. All those little smirks across the room, well-timed whispers, long periods of ignoring him? Plotting. Pining. Aching. Same thing. All part of your plan, huh? Well, I applaud you. You’ve finally gotten what you wanted.” She took a deep breath. “Simon Snow.”

There was silence.

“You finished?” Baz asked finally. Penny rolled her eyes, nodded.

“Do you actually believe I took Simon’s memories? Do you think I’m powerful enough to do that?”

Why would I want to do that? He meant to say.

Penny looked at him, not blinking. “I think your family would find a way. I think you have secrets, ways to get what you want. But I could be wrong.”

Baz said nothing. Penny looked behind them, at the infirmary. Baz took her elbow, and they began walking back to the building, away from where she had asked to meet him last night. Before, his friends might have asked why he was missing, or where he was going, but he didn’t have those anymore, even though he’d started goes to classes again. So it was easy for him to skip lunch and come talk to a girl at the edge of the woods. And Simon… wouldn’t care. Well maybe he would, but not once he found out the truth, about Baz and him, and Baz’s lies. So it didn’t really matter, did it?

As they neared, Penelope spoke once more. “Prove me wrong, Pitch.”

Baz laughed softly without humour. How was he going to prove anything? He hadn’t wiped Simon’s memories – not as far as he knew. There were countless mages currently studying memory spells and their effects (each one eager to be famous for curing the Chosen One) but so far, nothing had come up. For all anyone knew, Simon had wiped them himself.

“You act like you’ve had your suspicions regarding my intentions toward Simon for some time. Do you think… he ever figured it out?” The vampire asked as they strolled back to the infirmary.

Penny tilted her head. “I don’t think so. I don’t think Simon is – was aware of your feelings. He’s always been too thick to see past your supposed mutual hatred.”

“He knows now, though.”

“Yes, he knows now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh


End file.
